another 3 down !!!!

i had the ultimate presentation marathon today, 3 in a row. beat that, hon !
im glad its over but i think the retail project is screwed. seriously, i've never felt so disappointed with presentation before. you know what's the worse thing abt the whole retail module. i've failed the first retail test and if the marks for this report&ppt is fucked-up, then im doomed for this module.
sometimes i just wonder why I'm fighting so hard for everything, would my life be easier if I'm more laidback instead. i dont even know what i'm going to do/go after this diploma thing.
let's assume i'm so lucky to get my fat ass into a university and i struggle for a few more years for that god-damn degree that almost everyone on the street has. Then I'm out working and I struggle further to climb up the coporate ladder and fight off all the office politics.
Do i really want to do that and when I'm really there, is that what i really want ? I want not just monetary benefit but something that I really love doing(which i have yet to discover), something that give me satisfaction.
I know im being pessimistic for painting such a bleak picture and I know there are the good and bad in life. but sad to say in the materialistic world, the good in life comes with an expensive price tag.

i saw this quote somewhere by some Steven-guy :
Most people spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to realize, when they get to the top, the ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall.
It just got me pondering, what wall is my ladder leaning against and what wall do I want my ladder to lean against?
i know it's too late to be thinking about this, but this whole paragraph I've wrote has got me thinking way too many times. and you know what, i have yet to give myself an answer. I just hope I know what I want soon enough, life is too short to be wasting away precious time.

au revoir
peipei

p.s. more report and brainstorming to be done. yeah, i know.