it's a love/hate thing about festive occasions

You know there's a saying that goes "when going gets tough, the tough goes shoppingggg". Very true, retail therapy does wonder to my tired soul. but now, i cant bear the idea of wandering into stores, gawking and lusting after those clothes when my bank statement absolutely forbids me. I'm freaking broke after getting my laptop and I feel bad about asking too much unnecessary money from folks to satisfy my materialistic needs because they're going to be paying a bomb for my US trip. It doesn't help that it is the festive season and there are so many celebrations planned out.
It would have been more comforting if I am successful at getting a job, i never knew it was so hard to get a part time job. grrr

So I am currently at this stage whereby there are so many events and deadlines to meet, and my brain is forcing itself to keep up with it. I'm beginning to get much more lethargic and irritated and I can't seems to muster enough willpower to finish up my work nowaday. even now, I am stuck with my financal anaysis shit. I wonder if it's the issue lies with the subject or with myself.

I feel so moody and grumbly about everything and it is so hard to laugh; and I meant a hearty laugh. I want to laugh so hard that I can tear and feel as though my stomach is about to rip apart, to laugh till my head feel light. it has been too long since I felt this way...

My current source of relief is to immerse myself in a story, their life seems so much better than mine. Just finished "Remember Me" and I looking for another book to distract me. ohhh, there's also the upcoming "Twilight" movie to look forward to.. that's not too bad a thing, i guess.

loves,
peirong :)))